성경적인 결혼 준비와 결혼관

솔로몬의 아가를 통해 배우는 결혼준비와 결혼관 - 8

Author
Boaz Kim
Date
2020-05-17 15:07
Views
6


 

Song of Songs 4:9-5:1

 

 

King to Bride (continued)

9    You have made my heart beat fast, my sister, my bride.

You have made my heart beat fast

with one glance of your eyes,

with one jewel of your necklace.

10  How beautiful are your caresses, my sister, my bride.

How much better are your caresses than wine

and the fragrance of your perfumes than any spice.

11  Your lips, (my) bride, drip honey;

Honey and milk are under your tongue,

and the fragrance of your garments is like

the fragrance of Lebanon.

12  A garden locked is my sister, (my) bride.

A spring locked, a fountain sealed.

13  Your shoots are a paradise of pomegranates

with excellent fruits,

henna blossoms with nard plants,

14  nard and saffron, calamus and cinnamon,

with all trees of frankincense,

myrrh and aloes with all the choicest of spices,

15  a garden fountain, a well of living water

and streams flowing from Lebanon.

 

Bride to King

16  Awake, O north wind.

And come, wind of the south.

Blow upon my garden and let its spices flow forth.

May my beloved come to his garden and eat

its excellent fruit.

King to Bride

5:1 I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride.

       I have gathered my myrrh with my balsam.

I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey.

I have drunk my wine with my milk.

God (Poet) to Bridegroom and Bride

5:1 Eat, O loved ones; drink and be drunk, O lovers.

 

  1. The Consummated Wedding Night

  2. At the end of prelude to the lovemaking, Solomon encourages his bride to experience fully to become “one” with him in the exciting yet pleasant act of lovemaking. It was what originally intended for all the married couples in the Garden of Eden by the Creator, God. After the Fall, a sad thing happened: Unlike Adam prior to his Fall, most husbands do not pay attention to their respective wives who want and even sometimes need to hear from their husbands during lovemaking. These husbands seem not to be so much interested in expressing and enjoying the delights of love as they are satisfying their own desires.



  1. Solomon here in verses 9-11, is much in love, so he tenderly gives love to his bride. He just gives her what his bride wants to hear, even sometimes what she needs to hear to fully experience her “one-ness” with him during their consummation of the wedding night. In verses 1-8, Solomon gave her his loving expressions of her physical look in his eyes. But here he is engaged in the act of lovemaking, so verbally expresses every act of love between them. Just looking at her eyes is enough to excite him. He had looked forward to this night for a long time. At last, she would become his wife. In the Near Eastern culture, one of the names husbands call their wives was an affectionate term, “sister.” So calls Solomon his bride, “sister” (4:9, 10).

  2. The bride is not passive either. Notice Solomon tells her that her caresses are beautiful, better than wine. And her kisses are marvelous too. Solomon just expresses his excitement verbally in his response to her active reciprocal caresses and kisses. Those verbal compliments are exactly making his wife more relaxed and responsive to his lead in their lovemaking. Now we know why such tender physical caresses and kisses are off-limits for those who are not yet married, indeed these physical expressions of their mutual love are reserved exclusively for married couples. Furthermore, Solomon recognizes his wife is a gift from God like their rich land, God promised- a land flowing with milk and honey (4:11).



  1. In verses 12-15, we find the most beautiful sacredness of the sexual expression of lovemaking between the bridegroom and his bride at their wedding night. Solomon is quite frank and open about his lovemaking to his bride. Their love is consummated in one of the shyest and most delicate of love scenes ever been recorded in human history. Solomon finally comes to the point where he is ready to consummate their wedding night in the most physical, psychological, and spiritual sense. He compares his bride to a lovely garden and fountain. But the fountain is sealed and the garden is locked (4:12). This is a poetic way to praise her virginity. The door to her garden had been locked to all others so that one night she might give herself to her husband. Her half-brothers did a pretty good job to guard and protect her while she was with them in their countryside home. If she had her father alive, he would have done the same for her, too. That’s why still we have a custom that at the beginning of the marriage ceremony, the officiating minister asks the father of the bride to hand her over to her bridegroom. By doing so the father of the bride guarantees her virginity to her groom. Indeed, it is the full responsibility of the father who guards and protects his daughter while she is under his full authority until her wedding day.



  1. With a sweet and delightful mood, now Solomon leads their more exquisite conversation at the beginning of their sexual consummation. After Solomon compares her to a garden locked and a fountain sealed, he further elaborates upon his perfectly suiting description. First, he more fully describes the garden (4:13,14). Her garden is a paradise of delightful fruits, fragrant flowers, colorful blossoms, towering trees, and aromatic spices. To Solomon, his bride is overwhelmingly beautiful, as refreshing and uplifting as spring flowers and enchanting spices. His bride is indeed the embodiment of the rich and colorful life of spring itself. Second, as spring awakens winter’s blacks and grays and whites to the multicolored life of a new world, so her all- around loveliness awakens Solomon from the black and white dullness of the ordinary to the colorful world of love. So now he longs to fully possess his garden and fountain. Yet he also expands upon the level of his praise. The “fountain sealed” first mentioned would nourish one garden at most. Yet he next calls her “a well of living water” that might supply an entire city; yet “streams flowing from Lebanon” would prosper an entire countryside! So great is her refreshment to him that she can be likened to mountain streams that give life to an entire countryside (4:15).



  1. Now in verse 16, she requests the breezes of spring to blow upon her garden and bring her lover to her. “Awake, O north wind. And come, wind of south. Blow upon my garden and let its spices flow forth.   May my beloved come to his garden and eat its excellent fruit” (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). With poetic beauty and propriety, she asks her lover, Solomon to come into and possess her, thus she calls her own body “my garden” now “his garden” (4:16). With her active and reciprocal invitation, Solomon comes into her body and consummates his wedding night to his beloved bride, wife, and sister.



  1. In 5:1, Solomon consummates his wedding night to his beloved bride, and after they fully consummated their wedding night, he declares that he has done so in the same imagery of her invitation, “I have come into my garden” (5:1). And when at last he does come into her body, his garden now, this act of lovemaking at its climax is indeed sacramental before their blessed God and Creator. With exhilaration and hearty enjoyment, the bride’s new husband then declares, “My sister, my bride. I have gathered my myrrh with balsam. I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey. I have drunk my wine with my milk” (5:1). The emphatically nine times repeated possessive mode, “my” says it all as to how fully satisfied Solomon in his act of lovemaking and her wholesome reciprocal satisfaction as well. Indeed, Solomon describes their lovemaking at its climax as a beautiful and fragrant garden he has enjoyed and as a great feast he just celebrated with his equally enjoyed bride, wife, and sister.  This act of expressing his full satisfaction to his beloved wife and sister is what we may call “after-play” after their fully consummated lovemaking. Physically exhausted Solomon does not stop his continuous loving concern and care for his beloved wife and sister at her emotional satisfaction. After the satisfying act of sexual consummation, his wife actually needs the most assuring gentle words of love from her beloved one now. There is no shame, doubt, fear, nor guilt involved here. Rather, their lingering excitement and calm rest are to be sustained and maintained by the physically exhausted yet emotionally satisfied husband. There is nothing we can find dull, and restrained in their God approved lovemaking! Rather, it is the most elegant, sacred and exciting wedding night any godly couple can have in the sight of God their Creator.



  1. Suddenly in His mysterious voice, God appears on the scene, and gives His hearty approval to their entire wedding night, “Eat, O loved ones: drink and be drunk, O lovers” (5:1). God vigorously endorses and affirms the love of this newly wedded couple. God takes great pleasure in what just has taken place right before His all-seeing yet loving eyes. God exceedingly glad they have drunk deeply of the fountain of love. Two of His children have experienced love in all the beauty and fervor and purity that God Himself originally intended and prepared for all married couples on the earth. This is God’s attitude toward all Christian couples today.


Sadly, yet only a few Christian couples seem to experience this kind of their wedding night. Why is this so? Perhaps one reason is that their initial dating period and courtship do not prepare them for it. Furthermore, perhaps the individual Christian singles are not well aware of its necessity prior to their respective dating and courtship adventures toward their ultimate marriage. The couple in this Song experienced a beautiful wedding night because they were well prepared for it by a beautiful dating and courtship. Here we can learn from them what God-approved godly, romantic and pure love should be like before marriage (1:1-3:11).

Questions to Ponder with Prayers

  1. On the part of a husband-to-be, what can be done for the best and most satisfying wedding night for him and his newly wedded wife?



  1.  How does the wife approach to the sexual consummation initiated by her newly wedded husband?



  1. Speaking of divine approval, thinking God’s all-seeing eyes are upon the wedding night are you more excited and delighted to anticipate your wedding night or not, then why?